Juliette Harrisson

Oct 3, 2017

As series XII arrives online this week, we count down twenty of the best Red Dwarf episodes from across the show's long history…

Putting together a list of the Top 20 episodes of Red Dwarf presented an unusual challenge. The truth is, there’s barely a bum note in the first 36 episodes (Series I – VI) and then it’s a case of finding the quality episodes among the less successful half hours in the following 31 (Series VII – XI). The most accurate ‘top 20’ would be composed almost entirely of episodes from those first 36. However, for this list, we’ve resisted the urge to simply list most of the first six series and have deliberately ensured that this selection covers a reasonable span of the show, with every series except IX represented somewhere. This way, we can offer a more balanced overview of the whole history of the show, and highlight the really quite good elements of the later series, rather than allowing them to be completely over-shadowed by earlier successes. And so, to the inevitably highly subjective list. Feel free to register polite disagreement in the comments!

20. Can Of Worms (Series XI)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Cat: “It still counts!”

While Rimmer and Lister are really rather well-developed characters and Kryten has had his fair share of moments in the spotlight, Holly and the Cat have had exactly two spotlight episodes each out of 67. And while Holly, who has been in considerably fewer episodes anyway, is lucky enough to get some all-time classics (see below), neither of the Cat’s spotlight episodes are entirely up there with the greats. His long-awaited moment in the sun is at least the strongest half hour of Series XI and features some classic Red Dwarf humour. Re-visiting the polymorph might seem a bit like recycling old ideas, but here it’s used to give the Cat his first ever bit of real character development as he finally pops his cherry (discounting virtual reality), and results in an all-male crew of whom 50% have given birth, which is, shall we say, unique. Plus the Cat’s pink maternity clothes are pretty funny.

19. Stoke Me A Clipper (Series VII)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “It’s my destiny to be a smug, self-satisfied git?”

It’s always a good sign when any episode features Ace Rimmer, a character whose ridiculously overblown charisma and jolly attitude lights up Red Dwarf’s often drab world. Much of the humour comes from the extreme contrast between Ace and the Rimmer we know, so seeing ‘our’ Rimmer pretending to be Ace is a nice twist. More importantly, in this episode we say goodbye (for now) to the Rimmer we’ve known for the first six years of the show, and this story gives him a sweet send-off, and a satisfying conclusion to his character development over the course of the series so far.

18. Future Echoes (Series I)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “If you had two people coming for a job, and one of them was dead, which one would you pick?”

The set-up of Red Dwarf is spectacularly bleak – Lister is alone in the universe apart from a hologram he doesn’t like, a highly evolved cat and a computer. Much of the first two series plays off the sadness and loneliness of that situation, while providing occasional diversions or rays of hope that his situation might, somehow, someday, change. This second episode does that in style, both confirming that you can’t fight fate, and offering the ray of hope that Lister will somehow end up with two baby sons. It’s also very funny, and introduces fan favourite minor character Talkie Toaster, the most annoying home appliance in the universe.

17. Cassandra (Series VIII)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Kochanski/Rimmer: “It’s coming true! It’s all coming true!”

A direct sequel of sorts to Future Echoes (the former episode is even name-checked in the script), this is a more obvious rumination on fate and destiny, featuring a prophetic computer named after a mythological priestess who was cursed to provide accurate prophecies that no one would ever believe. Cassandra is also the highlight of the not-overly-popular Series VIII, returning to the theme of Star Trek-inspired space exploration and featuring a great guest performance by Geraldine McEwan. The plot also benefits from and makes the best use of the presence of Human Rimmer in this series – the audience is primed to expect Rimmer to die again at some point and restore the status quo, so when Cassandra makes her prophecy, it carries more weight than the usual empty threats to kill off regular characters.

16. Camille (Series IV)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Kryten: “It’s the old story: droid meets droid, droid becomes chameleon, droid loses chameleon, chameleon turns into blob, droid gets blob back again, blob meets blob, blob goes off with blob and droid loses blob, chameleon and droid. How many times have we heard that story?”

Red Dwarf’s spoofs and pastiches of famous films or television shows have usually (with the possible exception of Series IX) been rather good, and this homage to Casablanca is one of their best. With Robert Llewellyn’s real life wife Judy Pascoe playing Kryten’s love interest Camille, the show presents a rather sweet but importantly also hilarious love story. As a side-note, it is also confirmed that the Cat’s one true love is, of course, himself, which to be honest we all more or less knew already.

15. White Hole (Series IV)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Cat: “So what is it?”

Female Holly’s only major episode, White Hole also features the return of Talkie Toaster, a very funny time loop scene, Kryten being used as a battering ram and Lister getting drunk and playing pool with planets. Rimmer’s cowardice is another highlight, as he (perhaps wisely) refuses to follow the example of Captain Oates. It’s the toaster that’s really the star of the piece though, Holly’s increasing exasperation only making each infuriating toast-based question funnier and funnier.

14. Holoship (Series V)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “Over the years I have come to regard you as… people… I met.”

Series V was a real high point for the show, and is, we admit, rather over-represented on this list. But that’s with good reason. Holoship, the first episode to be screened, sets the bar high, with great guest performances from Jane Horrocks and Don Warrington, Rimmer finally getting laid (twice in one lifetime!) and Lister eating a cigarette. Like Camille, it offers up a genuinely sweet love story in a properly funny setting. Geronimo!

13. Lemons (Series X)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Lister: “I’m not fighting you, Jesus! It’ll be like punching Ghandi!”

Series X was a real return to form for the show, and at least two other episodes very nearly made the list (Fathers And Suns, a very funny and rather sweet exploration of Lister’s complicated family situation, and Trojan, which returns to the rich well of Rimmer’s family issues). However, we plumped for Lemons, for being both very funny and probably the most memorable half hour from Series X. The twist at the end is fairly easy to see coming but the episode is no less successful for that, and the art direction and staging (including a compulsory homage to Da Vinci’s Last Supper) add to the fun.

12. Better Than Life (Series II)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Lister: “Proper dumplings, when they’re properly cooked to perfection, proper dumplings, should not bounce.”

Red Dwarf has shown us glimpses of Rimmer’s psyche a few times, and the results are never pretty. In this case, an attempt to cheer him up after he receives some bad news in the 3 million-years-delayed mail backfires horribly on Lister and the Cat, as a virtual reality game designed to make their wishes real turns on them when Rimmer’s mind can’t accept nice things happening to him. This episode also features one of two rather sweet heart-to-hearts between Rimmer and Lister on the ship’s observation deck, and the Cat’s mermaid girlfriend, who is a fish on top and a woman on the bottom (the reverse would be “a stupid way around”).

11. Dimension Jump (Series IV)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Everyone: “What a guy!”

The episode that introduced Ace Rimmer and his journey across dimensions, giving us a Rimmer who is the polar opposite of his normal self as a result of an early lesson in self-deprecation. While our universe’s Rimmer blames everyone around him for his failings, Ace holds a much more positive view of other people, and they in turn respond much more positively to him. The character is so gloriously over-the-top, from the wig to the flight suit to the deep voice to the James Bond-style ability to pull anyone around of either gender, he’s just too much fun to keep around. This episode also provides a rare opportunity to see Robert Llewellyn’s actual face and Hattie Hayridge’s legs.

10. The Inquisitor (Series V)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Cat: “Some might say I’m a pretty shallow guy – but a shallow guy with a great ass.”

Red Dwarf’s occasional forays into philosophy are often quite successful, and this is a good one. The science fiction of the plot is unusual and nicely worked out – the twist that the morally ‘better’ characters are the ones who have failed to justify their existence by not living up to their own standards is an interesting one, while there is plenty of humour in Kryten and Lister’s attempts to avoid being wiped out of history. This episode also informed us that Rimmer’s middle name is Judas, adding to his parents’ somewhat unusual approach to Christianity already referenced (their Bible had a misprint and they are, as a result, Seventh Day Advent Hoppists).

9. Quarantine (Series V)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “Mr Flibble’s very cross.”

Just hilarious from start to finish. From Dr Langstrom introducing herself as “quite, quite mad” to the observation that no one they meet can shoot straight, to Lister, Kryten and the Cat cooped up together in quarantine, to Rimmer in pigtails, a gingham dress and army boots and of course, the gloriously evil Mr Flibble – there is nothing about this episode that is not belly-achingly funny. Is this the overall funniest half hour Red Dwarf ever made? Opinions will vary – but it’s a contender for sure.

8. Backwards (Series III)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Lister: “It’s not a bar-room brawl – it’s a bar-room tidy!”

Red Dwarf underwent the first of several major makeovers at the beginning of Series III, but this opening episode assured fans that it was as funny as ever, while the introduction of new ship Starbug heralded an expanding of its horizons beyond the ship itself and the occasional quarry. Kryten, bumped up to a regular and re-cast after an initial appearance in Series II, fits right in straight away, while the Cat and Lister’s famous opening conversation about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone eases viewers into the new reality with some cracking one-liners. Add to that the always-amusing backwards dialogue and the bar-room tidy, and you have a classic episode on your hands.

7. The End (Series I)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Lister: “Are you trying to tell me everybody’s dead?”

You wouldn’t imagine that the pick of hilarious lines from a sitcom pilot would be the above, would you? Context is everything, of course. Holly’s repeated and increasingly exasperated insistence that “everybody’s dead Dave” turns an incredibly traumatic situation – a man wakes up to find everyone he knows and loves dead, and understandably has trouble processing this information – into a classic comic scene. Red Dwarf perfectly balances comedy and tragedy, and this sets the tone for not only the first two series, but the show as a whole. The further the show strays from that central concept – a man almost entirely alone in deep space – the weaker it tends to be. This black humour with a touch of melancholy is Red Dwarf’s key strength, and it plays to it from day one.

6. Kryten (Series II)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “Our first contact with intelligent life in three million and two years, and it’s the android version of Norman Bates.”

There are so many hilarious scenes in this episode – Lister getting ready to go out on the pull, Rimmer’s first request to be called ‘Ace’, the Cat unable to drag himself away from the mirror and everyone’s reactions on meeting the three lovely ladies from Kryten’s crew. Among all that, the introduction of Kryten himself, played here by David Ross, would prove to be far more significant than anyone realised at the time. His early attempts at rebellion are both satisfying and very funny, and it’s here that he forges a friendship with Lister that will endure for decades.

5. Gunmen Of The Apocalypse (Series VI)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Kryten: “And you, sir. There’s something familiar about you. I get a name. Smeeeee. Smeeeeeeg. Heeeeeeed.”

An Emmy-award-winning episode, this features another foray into virtual reality, this time in an attempt to get into Kryten’s brain, which for reasons it’s best not to enquire about, has converted his battle against a computer virus to a Western. Who cares why, the episode is huge amounts of fun, with some fairly impressive production values for a 1990s BBC budget and a solid story with a really energising payoff. The virtual reality games are lovingly detailed, while our heroes’ attempts to be cowboys are predictably amusing. Plus the Cat finally gets to have a good idea, almost immediately followed by another one, giving him an unprecedented winning streak.

4. Polymorph (Series III)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “Well, I can’t say I’m totally shocked. You’ll bonk anything, won’t you Lister?”

The whole of this episode is very funny, featuring as it does Lister sleeping with a genetically engineered life form disguised as Rimmer’s mum, the Campaign for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society, the Cat without his cool and Kryten without his guilt chip. What really pushes it into the top five, though, is the early scene in which the polymorph interrupts Lister’s breakfast, which slowly escalates until Lister ends up jerking up and down on the floor with Kryten on top of him, groinal attachment flying around, desperately trying to remove his boxers. Call us childish if you like, but that’s some comedy gold right there.

3. Queeg (Series II)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Holly: “This is the jape of the decade. April, May, June, July and August Fool.”

Holly may be somewhat in the background most of the time, but the moral of this episode is ‘appreciate what you’ve got, because basically, I’m fantastic’ – and he really is. Lister losing his pea, the crew being forced to work for their food, Rimmer running in his sleep and Holly as the night watchman are all very funny, but it’s the climactic reveal that absolutely makes the episode. Holly, we bow down before you – you are, indeed, fantastic.

2. Marooned (Series III)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “Believe it or not Lister, he told me that in a past incarnation, I was Alexander the Great’s chief eunuch.”

Almost entirely a two-hander between Lister and Rimmer, both Craig Charles and Chris Barrie put in great performances here to produce an episode that is funny, touching, squick-inducing (dog food being only one of the various unpleasant things Lister has eaten over the course of the show) and entirely true to both characters. The core of the show is that these two people are trapped in space with not much more than each other for company, and this episode offers the purest possible distillation of that core concept, and shines all the more for it.

1. Back To Reality (Series V)

Red Dwarf: top 20 episodes

Rimmer: “I’m on the run from the Fascist Police with a murderer and a mass murderer and a man in a Bri-Nylon shirt!”

When this episode was originally broadcast as the final episode of Series V (though it was written first) it was thought that it might be the final ever episode of the show. With that in mind, the structure of the episode is especially clever, for the reveal that none of the episode’s major events are real comes at just the right point, about two thirds of the way through the episode. This reveal is late enough that it was just possible that all this was really happening, and that this was how the show would end, with the characters returning to their ‘real’ lives after playing a particularly immersive virtual reality game. However, once Kryten commits murder and Lister finds out that he ‘changes’ people from being alive people to being dead people, the plausibility of the scenario starts to fall apart – and the truth is revealed, allowing for a both cost-saving and side-splittingly hilarious scene in which Holly watches the crew act out a chase scene in the cabin on Starbug. With a memorable guest performance from Timothy Spall and the introduction of the Cat’s geeky alter ego Duane Dibbly, this episode is remembered as a classic for all the right reasons.