Everyone has their issues, its part of life, and we all deal with our hang ups in our own way. Some of us see a shrink, some of use alcohol as a crutch and some of us completely deny everything and slowly go insane.

That is why its strangely comforting to know that not all super hero’s are nice and shiny and perfect. Some super hero’s are as dysfunctional as we are and a few of them are way way more messed up.

Here’s a few of our favorite crazies…

 

1). Batman / Bruce Wayne

The Dark Knight has some major issues, but so would you if you witnessed the murder of your parents when you were just a lad. His crime fighting is a result of his need for revenge on all the bad guys. His personal life is always in a mess and the whole Robin thing makes people wonder.

 

 

2). John Constantine

This Sting look alike, is a chain smoking wizard who has some very shady dealings with angels and demons. It seems like almost everyone he meets comes to a horrible end, including himself.

 

 

3). Wolverine / James Howlett / Logan

The origin of this X-Man would be enough to make anyone lose their marbles.  His birth left his mother horribly scared. He was a sickly child and the man he thought was his father…wasn’t. The man that was his father was an abusive drunk. His brother turned out to be Sabertooth. And he loses every woman he loves. Bummer! If that wasn’t enough he got to go through the hell of getting his bones coated in adamantium.

 

4). Spider Jerusalem

Now this one is crazy. When we meet old Spider we learn that he would much rather live a life of seclusion in the mountains drinking, taking copious amounts of drugs and growing his own clothes. He leaves this life of bliss to continue his journalistic career in a world more mad than he is and is subsequently made completely bald. He drinks, he chain smokes and consumes massive amounts of uppers and downers.

 

 

5). Jesse Custer

This dude had is really tough growing up. His grandmother was an insane bible basher who had a warped way of ‘disciplining’ little Jesse. When he grows up he gets possessed by the lovechild of an angel and a demon, which gives him a holy super power. He decides he has a bone to pick with God and goes on a mission to find him with his two equally dysfunctional sidekicks, an alcoholic vampire and his sharpshooter girlfriend.

 

6). The Hulk / Bruce Banner

Bruce has a major anger management issue. When he gets mad he turns green, not with envy but with rage…maybe they should have thought that one through. Not only does he change colour but he turns into a huge uncontrollable dude with super strength. Its due to his lack of control that he is often viewed as the bad guy, which is made evident when he gets pissed off and takes on every MARVEL superhero one at a time in the World War Hulk story line of 2007.

 

7). Rorschach / Walter Joseph Kovacs

Rorschach is a violent psychopath with uncompromising right-wing tendencies and  an uninhibited self justified brutality towards his victims to stop the spread of violence. His peers see him as an outsider but tolerate him not aware of the depravity he is capable of. He fights crime because he hates criminals and he has no problem maiming and killing, maybe he enjoys it.

 

8). Iron Man / Tony Stark

Stark is an egomaniac pisscat who created Iron Man to save his own life after suffering a severe heart injury during a kidnapping. Although he put the suit to good use for a while more and more Iron Man knock-offs appeared. He makes his millions by building and selling military weapons, which kill people, which isn’t very heroic.

 

 

9). The Punisher / Frank Castle

Frank Castle loses it and becomes the punisher to teach the mob a lesson after they slaughter his wife and child. This guy has no super powers, he’s just driven by pure hate and will stop at nothing to punish those that commit terrible crimes. In fact he will do far worse things to them and their families than can be imagined, all of which make Punisher a lot of fun to read.

 

 

10). The Tick

The dude screams “spooooooooooon” every time he runs into battle. The tick is an incredibly dense guy who possesses the power of near invulnerability, whatever that is. He rarely knows what is going on, which is normal I guess for someone who has had so many blows to the head.

 

11). LOBO

Last but not least, my personal favorite.The Main Man!! The last Czarnian. When LOBO was a wee babe he murdered his entire family, later he took out his entire planet for a science project and gave himself an ‘A’ . The ‘BO kills for a living and loves it. He has a super sense of smell, regenerative healing, immortality and a genius intellect. Tough and unstoppable, he’ll come back if you kill him – every drop of his blood will turn into a mini Lobo, each of which will fight the others to the death until only one remains. This all make The Ultimate Bastiche one of the most awesome dysfunctional characters ever.  Oh and he has a radio implant in his brain, which he purposely put there to repeatedly play his heavy metal song. You don’t get more badass than that.

 

 

Have you got any other dysfunctional comic characters in mind? Let us know.